Customer Care Insanity

I have been wrestling with our internet service provider because we have not actually been receiving any internet service for a month. The problem seems to be that someone is illegally interfering with the microwave radio signal that is beamed to a receiver on the roof of our apartment building.

Customer care can be a notoriously tricky thing in a place where there is no real competition for the particular service on offer. So it is with the Internet. We had a great deal _ unlimited and reasonably fast internet at $80 a month. The other options were extremely limited. Unfortunately, our service provider, Swift Global, knows this fact.

I had been operating under the principle that if I made myself as annoying as possible, Swift Global's representatives would work to resolve the problem with our Internet simply so they could stop having to take my calls. So far it hasn't worked.

Yesterday, for example, I called Swift Global to get a status update (to their credit, customer care is staffed seven days a week). I had been assured on Friday that the problem would be solved that very day; needless to say, it never happened. So I called and expressed my exasperation.

The customer service representative asked me where I was calling from. The Andes Apartments, I said.

"Ah, the Andes Apartments," said he. "Yes, all of us here have been wishing that the Andes Apartments would go away so we don't have to keep taking calls. We haven't solved the problem."

"But what about me?" said I. "I'm paying $80 a month for this service. Don't you want my business?"

"Yes, but it will still take some time to solve this problem."

"Listen," I shot back. "If you guys don't fix the problem soon, I'm going to have to cancel my subscription and go somewhere else."

"OK," said the guy.

How do you respond to that? You can joke, cajole and harangue, and all you get is sputtering mad. It's tiny, insignificant problems like this that make me so pessimistic about the chances for legitimately conducted business in Kenya. Swift Global is powerless to do anything because someone, somewhere, is screwing with its signal, which is carried over the infrastructure of the ur-provider, Kenya Data Networks (motto: "Keep the data flowing"). There is no enforcement or regulatory system in place that would allow Swift Global to exert enough pressure on KDN to do anything, and KDN has so little competition that it doesn't have to worry about customers like Swift Global (and by extension, me) going somewhere else.

Comments

[William Deed]

Very funny. Although probably not when it's happening to you.

To be fair, sorting out the internet in UK can be a real pain in the arse as well. Although it does cost less so doesn't hurt as much.

[Celtel User]

Your comment: "There is no enforcement or regulatory system in place that would allow Swift Global to exert enough pressure on KDN to do anything, and KDN has so little competition that it doesn't have to worry about customers like Swift Global (and by extension, me) going somewhere else."

Incidentally, both Swift Global and KDN are owned by the same company, Sameer Group which is in turn owned by Merali!

My advise, get Celtel unlimited internet. It costs KES 3,000 per month ($50). I've been using it since Dec 2007 and really can't complain and the customer service actually works.

Here's the mind f***, Celtel KENYA is also 40% owned by Merali! The guy who owns the above 2 companies in case you've forgotten... go figure!

[Custmer Care Representative]

In the absence of competition, all you can actually get is bad service. Better not use their service or move away so you can find a new and better service provider. The way they do customer service, they don't deserve customers. At all.